I was talking to one of my co-workers yesterday, and she said something about people randomly bursting into song, then looked at me and asked, “You know, like that TV show Glee?” and I was like… oh yeah, yes, I think I might have heard of it once or twice.
So let’s do it like they do on the Discovery Channel Gettin’ horny now
Blaine wakes up slowly, surroundings registering in stages.
First is touch; Kurt’s hand stroking up and down his back, under the heavy blanket. Blaine smiles and breathes in deep and falls back asleep on the exhale.
Then he wakes up again and - scent. Kurt smells good. He nuzzles his nose into Kurt’s neck and then drifts for seconds before-
Sound. Santana, whispering. "And here we have the native dickhounds in their natural habitat, lubed up and fuck-happy."
Blaine startles, eyes flying open. He’s face to face with Santana and a girl he’s never seen before, but facebook and Kurt’s stories lead him to believe this must be Dani.
Santana’s smirking and Dani just looks at him with a smile that’s… sweet? Not mocking, at least, which is a nice departure.
“Fuck off,” Kurt says airily, Blaine’s first indication that he’s actually awake.
Santana keeps going, though, entirely too pleased with herself to stop. ”They’re a fascinating species to study, considering they’re boring as all fuck like ninety percent of the time. They’re attracted to shiny things, lace doilies, and sequins that they use to build their homo-nest.”
"But the other ten percent?" Dani asks. She rests her head on Santana’s shoulder, still smiling.
It’s sweet, Blaine thinks, that Santana has someone who will indulge her. Of course he’d prefer it not to happen while he and Kurt are still naked on the couch.
"Mating habits," Santana says, nodding. She perches on the arm of a chair, finger against her chin. "Just introduce a fifth of tequila and it’s a whole friggin’ social experiment up in here. Lube and latex a’flying, dildos on parade. I’m telling you, you haven’t lived until you’ve seen Hummel give a butt licking to fancypants."
"Oh my god. You wouldn’t see if it you’d respect the curtain being closed." Kurt sounds disgusted - but it’s not like they can really move. Their clothes are definitely no in reach and there’s only one blanket. "Would you please just- Blaine, seriously?”
Blaine buries his face in Kurt’s shoulder and tries to shift his hips so that his hard on isn’t digging into Kurt quite so blatantly.